007 is screwed
by Snow and Night the sisters
Summary: In punishment for bothering Q so much, Q will be able to turn James Bond into squirrel and back whenever he feels like it. But, instead of that, Q has transformed Bond into a cat and sent him into the Warriors world. Oops. Things are about to crazy as James Bond tries to find what he calls "logic" in a logical world. Did I mention that James ins't as smart as he used to be?


**A/N: If you are either a James Bond fan or a Snow and Night the sisters fan, I don't care. This will be interesting. Since it talks about James Bonds thoughts without being in first person, it might should like Ian Flemmings books. And since it is James Bond, some things will be dirty. I won't say any inappriopiate words, but I will refer to some dirty stuff. James Bond doesn't call clan cats stuff like Jayfeather, he will call them like Jay or for Ivypool, Ivy. Enjoy!**

Q has warned James Bond to not go in his lab if it isn't work related, but James still does. Q threatened James if he goes in, he will turn him into a squirrel and will be able to turn James into a squirrel and back into a person whenever he likes.

James doesn't believe Q, they are good friends. James likes to have fun, in fact he is the only spy in M16 who has fun at all.

So when James's first instict was to not go in, his second instict told him to go in. James Bond stopped making good choices once all his missons got boring. They all seemed to work out.

James Bond, then, entered Q's lab, dispite Q's threats. Q spun around and pulled out a rather large looking gun.

"I told you to stay out!" Q yelled.

"But it's fun in here!" James protested, like a child.

"Go bother M!" He ordered.

"I already did." Bond replied.

"I will turn you into a squirrel!" Q threatened.

James Bond's first instict was to say sorry and leave. His second, prepared and dodge the beam.

"No!" James yelled, again like a child.

Q shot. The beam flew past Bond as he leaped out of the way. It hit something metal and flew back, hitting James Bond.

"I knew you would do that." Q said bluntly.

James Bond saw a blinding light. And he almost yelled in anger when he heard: "That wasn't supposed to happen!"

Usally, James Bond was against some evil guy when he heard that and was always happy. But now he was on the other side, James Bond now wished he was on a mission like that.

James Bond finally shut his eyes firmly. When the blinding light was gone, James peaked one eye open.

He was in a forest. And he saw a stripped gray cat in front of him, picking at some kind of leafy plant.

"Hello?" He called. James Bond got up and noticed he was only a bit taller then the cat.

"Who are you?" The gray cat asked.

"Ma'am.." He started, supsecting the cat was a girl.

"You think I am a girl or a she-cat," The cat demanded. "I can read minds, you know."

"You can?" James Bond ask shocked.

He seen many things in his life. People with metal sharp teeth, evil guys in wheelchairs with cats, a whole building made of ice, giant lazer beams, and many other things, but this was most unbelievable.

"I am a tom or a boy, by the way. My name is Jayfeather" He introduced himself.

"I'm Bond. James Bond." James replied, hoping this Jay Feather would understand.

"It's one word. Jayfeather. Not Jay Feather. Don't you dare call me Jay or Mr. Feather." He instantly corrected.

"So Jay, are you blind?" Bond asked, noticing his eyes.

"Jayfeather. And yes I am, Bond" Jay meowed

James Bond then heard a noise. A dove-like cat and a yellow cat appeared and found a place next to Jay.

"The gray cat is Dovewing, she is a she-cat. And this is Lionblaze, he is a tom." Jay nodded towards the others.

"I'm Bond. James Bond." James looked at them two. He was glad they were cats, no one can use a gun or a bomb.

"Hello BondJamesBond" Dove said.

"Uh, you can call me James" James instently meowed.

"Would you like to meet Bramblestar?" Lion asked.

"Sure..." James looked at Jay.

Bond didn't trust these cats. He watched them very carefully and took note of everything and every possible escape route, Dove looked strangly at him and Lion constantly kept checking on him.

Finally Bond followed the three cats to a cliff. They turned and started climbing down a hidden path, if they weren't guiding him he would of never noticed it.

James followed them down. He watched as they went into a bush and followed reluctently into the bush, hoping it wasn't a trap.

He found many cats, they all turned to see whoever this newcomer was and instantly started whispering to each other. A couple cats started guarding what looked like entrences to dens. Jay went into one of the dens.

"Who is this?" A ginger cat demanded. James Bond cursed silently. He remembered how cats mated, but he never took the time to remember the differences between a she-cat and a tom. Bond pulled up some facts and noticed, it was a she-cats.

"I'm James" He meowed, no one needed to get confused like Dove did.

"Hello, James, I am Squirrelflight" She replied.

Without warning, James started cracking up. Q was supposed to turn him into a squirrel.

"What's so funny?" Squirrel asked sharply.

"Nothing." James stopped laughing.

Another cat, a she-cat, then joined them. If James Bond was in a cartoon, his eyes would of turned into hearts.

This cat was the prettiest cat he ever saw. She had long sleek beautiful black fur and dark green eyes.

"Hello, I am James." He introduced himself. James Bond remebered what happened when he met pretty girls.

But they were cats, so it wasn't the same. And he pulled up what else happened when he met pretty girls. Darn.

"Hey. I'm Ivypool," She replied, sniffig him. "Are you from a clan?"

"No. I lived all by myself and I feed myself and fight off everything that harms me and my friends." Bond bragged, surely Ivy would be impressed.

"In fact," James continued. "I would spy on other cats and stopped their evil plans."

"I did that once, too" Ivy meowed suddenly.

"When?" James asked. Instantly Bond thought of Jinx.

Right then Jay left, followed by a dark brown striped tom. The tom called out something and lots of cats gathered beneth a ledge and Bond followed.

"We have a visitor within our group. James, come here" The tom meowed loudly. James walked forward and looked up at the sturdy tom.

"James, I would like to invite you to join ThunderClan. Do you pledge to uphold the Warrior Code even at the cost of your life?" He asked.

"Basically he is asking you to protect the ways of the clans even if you have to die to do it." Jay explained.

"Sure" Bond meowed carelessly.

"Then you will now be... Nightfire, for your black fur and what Jayfeather calls your "firey personality," The tom announces. "I am Bramblestar, your leader."

_Cool, another fun thing to do! _Was all Bond thought about it. Little did he know that he was in for a big surprise...

**A/N: Too short for ya'll? I thought it would be longer then most of my regular chapters. But if you say it's not, I'll make it longer. I hear the review button is getting lonely down there. Also, I forgot to note something. James Bond isn't my creation or Warriors. Otherwise this wouldn't be on . I will try to make James Bond say something witty. Jinx is another spy. She is a girl. She works for the C.I.A. Goodbye!**


End file.
